I started a blog and then I disappeared. So what happened? Well, that is quite a story - one that upsets me even now. Let me start by sharing with you the email that I sent out to my friends:
Here's the story: My eating disorder (EDNOS - not exactly anorexia or bulimia) is in full force right now. After much arm twisting, Hubby got the treatment center to give us a payment plan. We handed them $1100 that we had scraped together and they said my insurance had approved me so that I could start Partial Hospital treatment (10 hours per day, 7 days a week).
I started treatment on Monday. I thought I was going to die. I have studiously avoided having any relationship with food for a very long time. All of the sudden, they had me picking out menus (of food I do NOT like) and eating 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. Plus drinking lots of water. It was sometimes hard not to cry when I saw the food on my plate. If I didn't eat everything, they would ask me to drink a supplement called Peptimin (sp?) so that I would still get nutrition.
Eating all of that food affected me in two ways - it "woke up" my body and it "woke up" lots of emotions. The therapy sessions did the same thing. On the first day I got pulled out of sessions by the direct care staff, the nurse, the psychiatrist, and the dietitian to tell the story of my eating disorder in minute detail to each one of them. So I had to keep repeating it. I had to keep remembering how it started and why it was active now.